covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
