4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
