dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
