Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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