Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
