TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
