Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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