Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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