we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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