she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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