Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
