How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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