Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
