the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
