don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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