: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
