It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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