The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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