Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
