You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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