You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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