You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Rumble strips road head = magical
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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