so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
