The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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