And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
