There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
