chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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