Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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