Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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