I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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