We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I had to cum in my sink.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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