i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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