Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
