I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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