When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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