with your own penis?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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