don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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