where am i from again
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
