god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The air was thick with penises
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
