I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
