We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
