Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
