But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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