she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize