as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
