im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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