is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
