dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ugly people sure do ruin things
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize