Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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