hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
