Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
someone owes me an orgasm
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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