Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
