Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
