just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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