he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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