i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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