i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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