I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
