Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
