She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
