You made me cry and you don't even care
so explain again why im purple
no
My balls are so social today.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
