Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize