So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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