Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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